Holy Matrimony
In celebration of my husband Geoffrey and I being joined in Holy Matrimony on December 17th 2022 I created this post to reflect on the many customs, legends and other beautiful things surrounding marriage.
What is Marriage?
The Oxford dictionary defines marriage as: the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship.The word "marriage" from Middle English, Old French and Latin mariage, marier and maritare respectively translates "to provide with a husband or wife” or maritari meaning to get married. Think of when two things are paired together "married together" ie the 2 become 1.
Similarly, matrimony is from Old French and Latin matremoine and matrimonium respectively. They combine mater and monium translated as mother condition because of the role that a new bride would take on in some cultures.
A sacrament is defined as "an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace." Each sacrament has three conditions form, matter and minster. Holy Matrimony is a unique Sacrament inasmuch as the Priest is not the Minister of the Sacrament but the witness, whereas the couples are the minister of the Sacrament to each other. The form is the vows, the matter is the consent. While there are Church regulations for making a marriage sacramental, marriage is a valid marriage when there is a witnessed, consensual and legal confession of love, forsaking all others til death do you part. Christ Himself witnesses the marriage when two or three are gathered in His Name and the couple consecrate their love to Him. Marriage is a gift of evangelization whereas Holy Matrimony brings members by extension into the Church.
Wedding Customs and Superstitions
The Folklore of Love and Courtship
The Folklore of Weddings and Marriage
- Snow on your wedding day is a sign of fertility and prosperity.
- Wear gold earrings on your wedding day to ensure wedded bliss.
- Put marigolds in your wedding bouquet to keep your true love.
- Speak wedding vows on the upward strokes of the clock hands and you’ll work well together in marriage.
- An engagement ring purchased on a Tuesday will guarantee a marriage filled with peace and contentment.
- The groom carries the bride across the threshold to bravely protect her from evil spirits lurking below.
- Superstition says rain on a wedding day is lucky because a knot that is wet is harder to untie, so as you tie the knot, rain is a blessing. This comes from Hindu tradition and I learned from our wedding officiant. Tying the knot comes from a custom of tying the couples hands together in some cultures to symbolize their bond.
- It's customary for some Catholics to place an image of Mary in the window and a rosary in a tree or bush to secure good weather for a wedding day. The Irish place an Image of the Infant of Prague in their window. The cultures which place flowers before Mary at a wedding are symbolic of dedicating the marriage to the Blessed Virgin as witness and guardian of their union.
- It is a custom in some places to give newlyweds an image of the Infant Mary.
- In some cultures couples will sprinkle each other with Easter water on the way to their wedding as well as giving new shoes and candle wrapped in white and pink ribbons to your betrothed on Holy Saturday.
Wedding Symbols:
Hearts: The symbolism of love, self sacrifice and dedication to the one you love.
Bells: To ward off evil spirits with loud noise, for a blessing to announce nuptials.
Rings:
Symbolizing the unbroken, unending circle of love. Placed on the ring
finger due to ancient belief that the ring finger was where the vein that
connected to the heart was. In fact wedding rings when blessed by a Catholic Priest become a sacramental and makes them an even more perfect visible symbol of the marriage vows.
Doves: Symbols of peace, purity, fidelity and to remember family members who are attending the wedding from Heaven. Christmas weddings can use cardinals as they are winter birds and also symbolize visiting family members.
Cake:
Originating from the Roman custom of the breaking of the bread over the
brides head. The bread symbolizes the brides virginity and the breaking
symbolizes the groom's protection and their lives being knit. The
symbolism of fertility in the bread would pass on the luck thereof to
those who collect the crumbs. Perhaps even the Bread of Life is symbolized
therein?
Veil: Purity, Modesty, to disguise against evil spirits.
White: Purity and Virtue, the color of faith, the faith the couple has in each other. (This latter definition is from Edna Barth's Valentine's Day Book.)
Rice: Tossed to appease the gods for fertility and prosperity.
Groomsmen and Bridesmaids: To confuse evil spirits, protection against dissenters, to assist the bride(s) and groom(s).
Aisle Runner: To protect the couple from evil spirits in the floorboard. Red for honor or white for purity.
Kiss: Ancient Rome sealed all contracts with a kiss and each time you kiss, a piece of your soul is exchanged through your breath according to ancient folklore.
Bridal shower: To provide dowry in cases where brides father didn't agree, so bride could marry who she loved.
Tips for a Happy Marriage: While each couple is different, good communication, active listening will make all things well.You and your partner are a team, don't argue with them, argue for them. Speak in a clear and concise manner and always put them first. Don't be afraid to share anything with them, to be vulnerable.
1. A disagreement shouldn't be about winning but trying to understand your partners perspective.
2. Unplug, play board games, cook together etc
3. Have a therapist you have a check in with (Lasting is an app used for this.) A weekly check in with each other is also beneficial.
4. Have a safe space, it can be your therapist or wherever you chose.
5. Always look for the good in your partner and build up the good in each other.
6. Have alone time.
7. Gratitude and laughter help alot.
Notes from Catholic Teaching on Marriage
"...
Our Savior, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses
through the sacrament of Matrimony....Christ dwells with them, gives
them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise
again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one
another's burdens... and to love one another with supernatural, tender,
and fruitful love. In the joys of their love and family life he gives
them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb..."
"Conjugal
love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter
- appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity,
aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal
unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one
heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in
definitive mutual giving..."
"...Proclaim the Good News that God
loves us with a definitive and irrevocable love, that married couples
share in this love, that it supports and sustains them, and that by
their own faithfulness they can be witnesses to God's faithful love."
"...What
happened in Cana 2,000 years ago, happens today at every wedding
celebration... Some are more concerned with the exterior details...
these are important...if they point to the real reason for your joy: the
Lord's blessing on your love." —Pope Francis, Address to engaged
couples in Rome, February 14, 2014
The Wedding at Cana
Where the Wedding at Cana Took Place
The Wedding at Cana Animated Clip
The Wedding at Cana Movie Clip
Some theologians place one of the miraculous jugs from Cana at Calvary. Therefore, Cana, Calvary and the Eucharist are intimately tied together. Therefore, marriage is for all sexes and gender identities as it is a mystical reflection of Christ’s self sacrifice.
"Marriage is a Sacrament the couple confers on each other each day and daily acts make love incarnate." (From a Catholic Pre-Cana Book).
Mary and Joseph, Model of the Married
(Although
Mary and Joseph themselves are a chaste heterosexual couple, their
marital life still has examples for all couples gay or straight.)
Mary's intimate love for God and Her sinlessness from the moment of Her Immaculate Conception brought Her to the Annunciation. By Her acceptance of God's proposal, She becomes spouse of the Holy Spirit as He overshadows Her and Christ is conceived of Her. Likewise, God chose Saint Joseph to be Mary's legal husband and physical protector on earth.
An old tradition says couples abstain on the first night of their marriage and instead offer a devotion to St. Joseph.
Brief Rosary Meditations for Relationships
The Joyful Mysteries
The Annunciation: God "proposes" to Mary and She accepts to be the Mother of God. In the same way that Mary's life and ours was forever changed, the acceptance of a marriage proposal is a welcoming of a change in life and is an embracing of the mystery of love incarnate.
The Visitation: Mary shares the good news with Her kinswoman. So to do we share the good news with our family and friends and they share our joy with us when we announce our engagement.
The Nativity: Jesus is born and humanity and divinity are wed within His person just as Matrimony celebrates the binding of two lives and two families. As the star of Bethlehem announces the birth of Christ, the wedding day announces love to the world.
The Presentation: Jesus and Mary offer themselves to God as couples offer themselves to God and each other.
The Finding in the Temple: Mary and Joseph rejoice after seeking for Christ and having found Him. We rejoice in finding the one whom we love and desire to spend forever with.
The Luminous Mysteries
The Baptism of the Lord: Just as Baptism makes us children of God, marriage extends the family of God. Baptism makes us a new person, as does marriage enter us into a new covenant, the Order of Marriage.
The Wedding at Cana: By Mary's request, Jesus turns water into wine at the wedding at Cana. Jesus with Mary will be present at the wedding of those who invite them and they will provide many graces. Here Jesus foreshadows the Eucharist and Calvary.
The Proclamation of the Kingdom of God: Jesus proclaims to prepare the way for the kingdom of God. Couples prepare each other and the world for the same by the profession and example of their love.
The Transfiguration: Jesus' glory is shown on the mountain as He appears in dazzling white. This is a reflection of the couple that (traditionally also wearing white) approaches the altar to profess their love and be transformed into a new creation, to show the world the glory of love.
The Institution of the Eucharist: Just as Jesus offers Himself in the Eucharist so does the couple offer themselves in a life of love and intimacy. The Eucharist is known as the "Wedding Feast of the Lamb."
The Sorrowful Mysteries
The Agony in the Garden: Jesus knows what lies ahead of Him. Married life can be difficult at times and we may be anxious leading into the wedding but just as in His anxiety Jesus surrendered to God's will, so shall we and see how beautiful our wedding and marriage is.
The Scourging at the Pillar: Jesus is brutally beaten but patiently endures for love. Couples are called to stand up for each other and protect each other, to love each other whatever it takes, in good times and bad.
The Crowning with Thorns: Jesus is mocked in His crowning but He is still king. He endures mockery and remains silent. Couples renounce all else for their beloved just as Christ rejected the world and mortified Himself during His Passion. May couples know when to be silent and listen to their spouse.
The Carrying of the Cross: Jesus patiently bears the Cross. We bear with our beloved as we will vow through better or worse, all for love.
The Crucifixion: Jesus is crucified and dies for love of His Bride the Church and for our redemption. He gives His all as spouses do for one another, marriage is a witness to the Passion of Christ. Marriage is to die to the old self and to be reborn as a new person. This is noticed especially when the spouse takes the name of the other.
The Glorious Mysteries
The Resurrection: Jesus rises to new life, the married couple rises to a new life as one flesh.
The Ascension: Jesus goes to Heaven. The couple that gets married consecrates and takes to heaven their lives and their love.
Pentecost: The Holy Spirit fills the soul of Mary His spouse. May we fill our spouse with love of God and the spirit of joy by the love we give them.
The Assumption: Mary is taken to Heaven because of the life that perfectly loved and honored God. May we dedicate with Mary our whole selves to our spouse and to God.
The Coronation: Mary is crowned Queen of the Universe. We exchange rings to crown our love for one another.
Marian Consecration of Marriage
Nine-Day Preparation for Total Consecration to the Blessed Mother
*Each day is begun with the Prayer to the Holy Spirit and closed with the Sub Tuum and Miraculous Medal prayer.*
St. Augustine’s Prayer to the Holy Spirit (shortened)
Breathe, act, strengthen, guard and draw my heart O Holy Spirit so that I may think, act, defend, love and always be holy. Amen
Sub Tuum Praesidium Prayer
We fly to thy patronage, O holy Mother of God; despise not our petitions in our necessities, but deliver us always from all dangers, O glorious and blessed Virgin. Amen.
Miraculous Medal Prayer
O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to you and for all those recommended to you.
DAY ONE
Mary, Spouse of the Holy Spirit, nurtures Christ and the Church
Reading: Luke 1:26-38
Commentary
At the Incarnation, the Holy Spirit verifies Mary as His “spouse”. Mary’s generous response sets the tone of her whole life with Jesus. She is the first and best Christian, our example of giving an unqualified “yes” without knowing the future.
Reflection
God gifted Mary with utter freedom from sin from the moment of her Immaculate conception because of her future motherhood. Mary is mother to all those who seek her son and by the Holy Spirit, we are reborn through Her. To be truly united to God we must use the means by which he came to us, by way of Mary’s “yes” without fear. We echo her dedication to God by giving ourselves entirely to Jesus through her and to do all things United to her spirit lovingly and without constraint, body and soul, our exterior property and also our interior and spiritual possessions: namely, our merits, graces, virtues, and satisfactions past future and present (in the order of nature, of grace, and of glory in heaven).all perfection consists in our being conformed, united and consecrated to Jesus. This we do without any reservation, not even of a penny, a hair, or the smallest good deed. And we give for all eternity without claiming or expecting, in return for our offering and our service, any other reward than the honour of belonging to our Lord through Mary and in Mary.hold in high esteem the great mystery of the Incarnation, so we might honour and imitate the wondrous dependence which God the Son chose to have on Mary, for the glory of his Father and for the redemption of man. b) That we might thank God for the incomparable graces he has conferred upon Mary and especially that of choosing her to be his most worthy Mother. Those who accept this devotion should have a great love for the Hail Mary, or, as it is called, the Angelic Salutation.
The Words of St. Maximilian (Journal reflection: “Our Purpose,” August 1940)
We are created to love God and to be transformed into His likeness. So that this could be so Jesus came but so love for Him mightbincrease so came the Holy Spirit and to further His love came Mary. As Mary is our spiritual mother, her maternal affection draws us close to the love of the Trinity. This is the cause for our consecration.
DAY TWO
Mary’s Humble Dependence on God leads to Her Glorification
Reading: Luke 1:39-56
Commentary
Mary sets out on her first mission of to share the love of Christ. In Her Magnificat She identifies herself as one of, God’s “little ones,” who humbly depend on God to defend and provide for them. Mary is the exemplar of all believers who trust God absolutely on their spiritual journey. By Mary’s proclamation of who God is, what He’s done for Her and for us we see how we must reject the world, become like children and be merciful and judgment free.
Reflection
With a divinely inspired revelation, Mary predicts that all generations to come will call her “blessed,” just as her cousin did. Her glory was not of her own making, but God’s gift. While Mary receives the greatest honor in heaven from God and isn’t in “need” of our honor, we need her maternal example and thus to pay her homage. The soul of Mary will be communicated to you to glorify the Lord.
The Words of St. Maximilian (Magazine article: “The Secret of Strength and Power,” September 1925)
In a world torn apart by strife, we may feel helpless but we have nothing to fear if we place ourselves totally, with unlimited trust, in the hands of divine mercy, of which Our Lady is by God’s decree the personification. Then we shall absolutely not fail. The saints affirm that whoever turns to her in trust during all his life will certainly be saved. Entrust to her the whole problem of your salvation, your life, death and eternity. Confess your sins sincerely and trust fully in her. Then you will know what peace and happiness really are, a foretaste of paradise. And you will begin to yearn for it. If you have never experienced all this, try it—see whether it is true or not—and you will find out.
DAY THREE
Mary, the Virgin Mother, and Her Divine Son fulfill the Longing of the Ages
Reading: Matthew 1:18-25
Commentary
As head of the family, Joseph was brought into the mystery of Jesus’ birth. To Mary’s heavenly Spouse, the Holy Spirit, is attributed her conception; to her earthly spouse is given the charge to name the child. Meanwhile Mary keeps silence, despite the anguish she must have suffered, and trusts God to explain her situation to her husband.
Reflection
Right after the Gospels were written, the first Fathers of the Church stressed Mary’s virginity as a keystone of Christian theology. St. Ignatius of Antioch, that Mary’s virginity, along with Jesus’ birth and death, were the three great mysteries crying out to be proclaimed—thus an essential part of the Good News of the Christ, because Mary’s virginity is the convalidation of Jesus’ being the Son of God.
The Words of St. Maximilian (Journal reflection: “The Immaculata is Yours—You are Hers,” August 1940)
Because from the moment Jesus gave Mary to us at the Cross the church has believed Mary to be our mother. The Mother of the Redeemer and creator is also mother of the creator and the created, as Spouse of the Holy Spirit, She is Mother of those reborn of the Holy Spirit. So we must love her as our mother with all the generosity of our hearts. She loved you enough to sacrifice God’s Son for you. In the Annunciation she welcomed you with all graciousness as her child. She will make you like herself, will make you ever more immaculate. Just let yourself be guided by her; let yourself be ever more willingly shaped by her and be purified in her love. Do not get discouraged, even if you sin seriously, repeatedly. An act of perfect love will purify you again. Let her make free use of you and dispose of you without any limits for whatever purpose she wishes is for your good . Be hers to the point of being her soldier, so that others may become ever more perfectly hers, so that all over the world we may work together with her against evils. Ask her to help you to become immaculate, as she is for Jesus, so you, too, may become a mother and conqueror of hearts for her.
DAY FOUR
Mary Joins Herself to Jesus for Our Redemption
Reading: Luke 2:22-40
Commentary
Mary and Joseph faithfully adhere to the Jewish law and consecrate the Boy to the Lord. We too shall be humble and obedient as the Holy Fanuky was in this mystery. Simeon, inspired by the Holy Sporot about who Jesus is foretells that the Child will be opposed in order to reveal the thoughts of many hearts. Mary, he predicts, will be directly linked to the suffering of the Messiah. By the prophecy of Simeon the Holy Spirit prepares His spouse to enter deeply into the redemptive process alongside her Son.
Reflection
After Jesus left home Mary had the uncertainty of poverty and fear for her Son’s life. Then after seeing her Son die shamefully and enjoying His resurrected presence for a mere forty days, she witnessed the martyrdom of the early believers, the Mystical Body of which she was the Mother. Yet she continued to share the good news, becoming the prime source of knowledge for the events of Jesus’ life and strengthening The Church.
The Words of St. Maximilian (Magazine article: “Purpose of the Militia of the Immaculata,” December 1937)
By consecrating ourselves to Mary we desire to share in the work of salvation with her. This work is done the more we better ourselves. Consecration to Mary, therefore, implies the necessity of working for the perfection of ourselveswhen we are perfectly obedient to her. We shall be apostles by the example of our lives, apostles by offering others the help of our actions.
DAY FIVE
Mary, Our Model of Spirituality is Formed by Jesus
Reading: Luke 2:41-52
Commentary
Mary’s heart sinks when she finds the Boy in dialogue with the religious teachers; she wonders whether this is the time He must leave home to begin His ministry—and she knows she must let Him go. She does not grasp His answer about His “Father’s house.” But she accepts the guidance of her Son and returns home.
Reflection
Mary is presented to us as the of living by the instruction of Jesus as she ponders in her heart. Mary taught Jesus as a Mother and Jesus fully prepared her to surrender her mother’s rights and even enter the mystery of the passion at His side. Thus God involved Mary in His plan hidden for ages, but revealed in Christ in the fullness of time we are called to share in the same mystery. We are the beneficiaries of the gift of Mary’s presence in the Church and in individual souls. By our total consecration, what begins in our lives as obedience to God’s inspiration ends with joy and peace that we have made such a commitment!
The Words of St. Maximilian (Journal reflection: “The Immaculate is Yours—You are Hers,” August 1940)
You are Mary’s, so let yourself be guided by her. Whatever happens trust that it is for our good. In those matters where neither necessity nor obedience decides, act as you wish, seeking to please her. “Love, and do what you will,” as St. Augustine said. You will become Holy if you genuinely love Mary and the Holy Trinity. She will keep you from falling if you place your trust in her. The reason for a fall is over-confidence in one’s own strength. If you do fall, offer yourself to her right away, “Dearest ‘Mom,’ pardon me, and ask Jesus to pardon me, too.” May your next act be done as an act of love and it will completely wipe out your fault.* If you feel yourself emotions dry and cannot elicit feelings of love, do not be concerned for if your will desires only to accomplish her will, be at peace, for you truly love her and the Trinity. Holiness consists not in extraordinary actions but ordinary ones done in love for God and neighbor. In these alone you find her will for Mary’s will is one with the Trinity. Indeed, the very act of yielding yourself unreservedly to her will not only shows that you love the will of God, but also proclaims the truth that her will is so perfect that it deviates in nothing from the will of God. Thus you will give glory to God the Father and the Son, both for creating a creature as perfect as she is and for having made her his own mother.
*In the case of Mortal sin, confession is necessary but the Saint says that Mary and the Trinity will have forgotten our fault per se by the act of love.
DAY SIX
Mary Leads Us to Obey Christ, the Head of the Church
Reading: John 2:1-11
Commentary
Jesus appears to advance the time of his charismatic ministry at the insistence of His Mother. Her motive is so human, so down-to-earth: to save a groom embarrassment at a time when he was scarcely thinking of his guests! Jesus adds His special touch to the party; He provides not just any wine, but a choice vintage. Jesus and Mary always bring joy and harmony to all our mundane activities, if we but give them access to our lives. Mary’s faith is strong, she is persistent in prayer and she trusts in God, who is Her son.
Reflection
St. John notes that Jesus addresses Mary as “woman,” a title of respect in a formal situation. It was as if Jesus was formally denoting the place of Mary in the believing community for all time. In fact, He both opens and closes His public life with a dialogue with her: at Cana and Calvary. At Cana Mary does not ask for anything in particular, but just tells her Son about the lack of wine at the party, knowing He will take care of the need. At Calvary she accepts John and all of us as her children, once more without asking anything. Will she do less for us today who wish to call her “Mother”? Does Jesus refuse her anything when she makes known our needs? Her only command in the Scriptures is, “Do whatever He tells you.” She leads us to obey Christ. She does not judge us, but simply receives us. When Jesus told us to be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect, He must have meant for us to love others unconditionally and forgive—because who but God can forgive sins? So Mary loves us the same . We desire to deepen our loving relationship with her and carry the message of her power and mercy to everyone we know, we shall begin this by our consecration.
The Words of St. Maximilian (Magazine article: “On the MI,” December 1936)
The ideal of those who consecrate themselves to Mary is to belong to her as servant and child to belong to her in all aspects during one’s whole life, death, and eternity: to be hers without any restriction, irrevocably and forever hers; to become more like her, more one with her. So that as we draw ever closer to her, we may draw others and to consecrate oneself to her to the point of becoming totally and without any limitation her very self.
DAY SEVEN
Mary, the New Eve and Mother of the Church
Reading: Genesis 3:14-20
Commentary
This text provides the first promise of the Savior to come, the only balm to the painful curse upon our race. The snake, symbol for Satan, will be crushed under the heel of Eve’s offspring, who is eminently Jesus Christ, of course. The Church has also applied this passage to Mary, who is the enemy of the tempter. Since we are Mary’s children by adoption and consecration, the warfare is carried on today by us, her “offspring.”
Reflection
Humankind’s capacity for good was not entirely destroyed by original sin, only impaired. God made several covenants with the chosen people and finally through Christ with the Church. The possibility of a sacred relationship with God flowered most perfectly when in the fullness of time Mary conceived the Savior. Her fullness of grace reversed the triple alienation of our first parents from God, one another, and nature itself. She has made it possible to restore paradise even on earth. The totally consecrated person ponders the Christian mysteries and joins his or her life to that of Jesus and Mary. Total consecration is also a “covenant” made by an act of the will. We must do everything in Mary. To understand this we must realise that the Blessed Virgin is the true earthly paradise of the new Adam and that the ancient paradise was only a symbol of her. we should undertake and carry out great thingsfor our noble Queen. We must defend her privileges when they are questioned and uphold her good name when it is under attack. We must attract everyone, if possible, to her service and to this true and sound devotion. As a reward for these little services, we should expect nothing in return save the honour of belonging to such a lovable Queen and the joy of being united through her to Jesus, her Son, by a bond that is indissoluble in time and in eternity.
The Words of St. Maximilian (Magazine article: “The First Condition,” May 1922)
To obtain the sanctification of souls, grace is needed. Consequently we can count solely on help from on high. In this area the easiest and surest help is, by God’s Will, the most holy Virgin Mary. To her the Church applies the words of the Holy Scripture: “She shall crush your head” (Gn 3:15), that is, of the infernal serpent. Pope Leo XII…. “Just as no one can draw near to the Father save by means of the Son, so too ordinarily no one can draw near to Christ except by means of his mother.” Our consecration does this by making us instruments in Mary’s hands.
DAY EIGHT
Mary, Model of Faith
Reading: Mark 3:31-35
Commentary
Jesus’ response in this passage is to not tear down devotion to Mary but to point out true source of Mary’s greatness, for she had already heard the word of God and kept it with such perfection that she had become the virgin Mother of the Incarnate Word, the biblical sign of the Church’s perfect relationship with Christ. We take into account to Jesus’ teaching in the Beatitudes and how we ought to be a good example for others. we must obey her always and be led in all things by her spirit, the spirit of Mary is the spirit of God because she was never led by her own spirit, but always by the spirit of God, who made himself master of her to such an extent that he became her very spirit. We must do everything with Mary, in every action then we should consider how Mary performed it. For this reason, we must examine and meditate on the great virtues she practised during her life, especially: 1) Her lively faith, by which she believed the angel's word without the least hesitation, and believed faithfully and constantly even to the foot of the Cross on Calvary. 2) Her deep humility, which made her prefer seclusion, maintain silence, submit to every eventuality and put herself in the last place.
Reflection
We cannot approach the mysteries of Mary without the illumination of her Spouse, the Holy Spirit. We must strive to know her, talk with her in prayer, see how she combined an obscure humdrum life with great sanctity. No doubt Mary was without equal in her obedience by her continual “yes” to God, not only at the angel announcing that she was chosen to be Jesus’ mother. She was the greatest and most gifted person as Virgin and Mother, but she was the most perfect disciple and co-worker because she pondered God’s Word and lived by its implications. The totally consecrated person will do no less.
The Words of St. Maximilian (“Who is She?” Sketches for a book, 1940)
Mary by God’s gift she is the most perfect of creatures, the most perfect image of God’s divine being in a purely human creature. She comes, then, from the Father, through the Son and the Holy Spirit, as from her Creator who, calls into being creatures made in His own image, the image of the Holy Trinity. Mary never knew the slightest stain of sin; in other words, her love was always full, without flaw. She loved God with all her being, and from the first instance of her existence her love united with God so perfectly that on the day of the Annunciation the Angel could say to her, “Full of grace! The Lord is with thee!” (cf. Lk 1: 28) She is, then, God’s creature, image and child, she is all this in the most perfect manner possible. With full consciousness and total willingness she allows God to govern her; she consents to his will, desires only what he desires, in the most perfect manner, without failing. She makes perfect use of the powers and privileges God has given her, so as to fulfill always and in everything whatever God wants of her, purely for love of God. This love of God reaches such a peak that it bears the divine fruits proper to God’s own love. Her love for God brings her to such a level of union with him that the Father confides to her his Son.
DAY NINE
Jesus Entrusts His Disciples to Mary
Reading: John 19:16-28
Commentary
The statements of dying persons tend to voice their important insights and final messages. In his last moments Jesus gives His Mother to all the world in the person of John. Then He “realizes everything was complete.” Mary is His last blessing for us. He leaves her to instruct and pray for the Church which is being born out of His side on Calvary. Mary continues to echo, “Let it be done with me as you say.” By Jesus’ death we must take up our cross. It is trustful, it fills us with confidence in the Blessed Virgin, the confidence that a child has for its loving Mother. It prompts us to go to her in every need of body and soul with great simplicity, trust and affection. holy, to imitate the virtues of Mary. Her ten principal virtues are: deep humility, lively faith, blind obedience, unceasing prayer, constant self-denial, surpassing purity, ardent love, heroic patience, angelic kindness, and heavenly wisdom.
It strengthens us in our desire to do good. Thus a person truly devoted to our Blessed Lady is not changeable, fretful, scrupulous or timid. disinterested. It inspires us to seek God alone in his Blessed Mother and not ourselves.
Reflection
Every grace (God’s action) reaches us through Christ, the Holy Spirit, and Mary. By consecration, we go through the Holy Spirit, to Christ, to the Father. It was Jesus’ choice to associate his Mother with salvation; it is our choice to accept this association. Even now Mary continues her concern to accompany us on the way of salvation; the easiest means of reaching the kingdom of heaven is to join Mary and to introduce her to others. She repays even the smallest reverence to her a hundredfold. Mary has been unknown up till now, and that that is one of the reasons why Jesus Christ is not known as he should be. She who first gave him to the world will establish his kingdom in the world.
Because God has decided to begin and accomplish his greatest works through the Blessed Virgin ever since he created her, we can safely believe that he will not change his plan in the time to come.
The Words of St. Maximilian (“During her Earthly Life.” Taken from an undated manuscript for a book planned on Mary.)
And, so one day, the hour had come for her appearance in this world. She was born into this world in an unknown, hidden and poor home in a Palestinian village. We see her in the Scripture at the Annunciation, that moment when she became the Mother of God. We follow her journey to Bethlehem, Egypt, consider the difficulties of that voluntary exile, and her return to Palestine. We take note, too, of the careful search for the Child Jesus and his finding in the Temple at Jerusalem. Once again at the side of her Son, we find her in Cana of Galilee at the wedding feast, where, for the benefit of the newly married couple the Lord works his first miracle. Jesus goes out to preach and teach; she remains in her little home, worried about the fate that will be his. Mary appears again to accompany Jesus on his journey to Calvary and to the Cross and there, on Golgotha, she is near him at the hour of his death. It is she who holds close to her heart the wounded Body taken down from the Cross. We see her still again when the Holy Spirit is poured out upon her and the Apostles in the Upper Room, as she remains with the followers of her Son as a loving and good Mother, seeing to their preparation.
An Ecumenical Marian Consecration
(For couples of mixed marriages on their Wedding Day)
Immaculate Mary, Mother of Jesus and our Mother, as we consecrate ourselves to each other in Holy Matrimony, we consecrate ourselves to your Immaculate Heart. Queen of heaven and earth, on this our Wedding day we the (Surname) family come before you to consecrate ourselves to you as we begin our new lives together, forever changed by love and thankful to God for bringing us together in this covenant. To You, Mary our Mother, we consecrate our marriage so that you may use it as the vessel for love and selflessness in the world. We make this consecration because Jesus said on the Cross, “Behold your Mother.” We thank God that you are our Mother, We need you, Mother Mary, to enter into our family life. Repeat to us the words you spoke at the Wedding of Cana, “Do whatever He tells you.” Help us to overlook one another’s faults, to forgive as Jesus has forgiven us, and to love one another as Our Lord has asked us to love. (May the Holy Spirit, your Divine Spouse enter our hearts and transform our lives. Ask your earthly husband), St. Joseph, Protector of the universal Church, to teach us to be models of love and service to one another. Today, we with open hearts and minds take you as our Mother and Queen of our hearts and home. May our home be used as the throne where the Sacred Heart of Jesus reigns forever with Your Immaculate Heart. Mary, Mother of God, and Mother of Love, pray for us. Amen.
The following prayer can be recited privately by the Catholic spouse:
I, ________________, your humble child and servant, renew and ratify today in thy hands the vows of my Baptism; I renounce forever Satan, his pomps and works; and I give myself entirely to Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Wisdom, to carry my cross after Him all the days of my life, and to be more faithful to Him than I have ever been before and to give myself in faithfulness all the same to (spouse’s name), asking for a plethora of graces upon our marriage.
In the presence of all the heavenly court I choose thee this day for my Mother and Mistress. I deliver and consecrate to thee, as thy slave, my body and soul, my goods, both interior and exterior, and even the value of all my good actions, past, present and future. I offer to thee as well my mind so that I may stay out of my head and instead save all concerns for thee and my mental healthcare providers. I leave to thee the entire and full right of disposing of me, and all that belongs to me, without exception, according to thy good pleasure, for the greater glory of God in time and in eternity. Amen
By Christ’s direct command from the Cross, “Behold your Mother,” we are formed by the Holy Spirit within Mary and our total consecration acknowledges this process.
The Holy Spirit is the “Uncreated Immaculate Conception” so by giving Mary His name in a sense, He chooses her as His bride . The Holy Spirit is Mary’s Heavenly Spouse while St. Joseph is Her earthly spouse. This is reflective how the married on earth still have Jesus as spouse of their soul in Heaven.
Adaptation Note: The preceding is a simplified and edited form of consecration via St. Maximilian Kolbe and St. Louis de Montfort’s methods. The prayers are shortened as well as the commentary, reflection and words of St. Maximilian which have been altered as well. The original meaning of these writings are retained despite their simplification. I have done this with no intention of copyright infringement from the Saints.
Patron Saints
May St. Valentine, Raphael, Nicholas, Philomena, Louis and Zellie Martin and all the patron saints of the married intercede with the personal patron saints of those who are to be married!
Patrons of Grooms: Louis IX
Saint Joseph is the Patron Saint of married men.
Spiritual Lessons from an LGBTQ Wedding
Post Wedding
The wedding may be over but the marriage adventure has just begun! Reflect on the day and express your gratitude. Add excitement to day to day activities, and add romantic touches. Never stop dating your spouse.
Resources Used: https://weddingbells.ca/planning/seven-well-known-wedding-traditions-explained/
https://symbolsage.com/wedding-cake-symbolism-and-meaning/
https://www.brides.com/why-do-people-throw-rice-at-weddings-5073735
https://www.almanac.com/content/wedding-folklore
https://www.theknot.com/content/best-relationship-advice-tips
Thanks also to the sources I used to understand the etymology of marriage and similar terms.
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